Question question question
always lingering around my mind...

Who am I ??
Who are you ??
Why am i so fortunate to have you ??
Why did you chose me ??
Why did i made you cried ??
How am I suppose to make you happy ??
Am i considered lying to you if i am trying to cheer u up ??
What if i did this and you started crying ??
What if i bought something you didn't like ??
What if you was angry with me ??
What if you was feeling insecure with me ??
What if i did not give you enough love ??
What if i controlled you too much ??
What if i break some promises to you due to some problems ??
What if i couldn't see you because i was busy ??
What if at the middle of the night you suddenly miss me ??
What if you were crying now ??
What if your parents object our relationship ??
What if you cried because i couldn't stay with you for the day even i promise ??

This questions always surrounds me which makes me thinking about you all the time..
Sometimes i know i have been breaking promises and making you cry..
But i really do not want to say NO to you when you are hoping for something...
I just don't want to see that disappointed face of yours, that sad face, that face the sulks...
That why most of the time i will just go as u wish to because i just want to make you happy...
But at times, i really couldn't make up my mind, eventhough i promised you, i still couldn't make it sometimes...

I know that sometimes i make up some lies to trick you and so,
but this are all only because i wish you to have the best..
I knew you don't like going home, because every time you go home then you would be leaving me already...
But the truth is still inevitable, we are a couple,
you are my lou po zai and i am your lou gong zai,
but still we don't have a house,
we don't have an income,
and we still stays with our families...
Families ties are important too at times,
not only me that is the most important...
I wish you to have time to be with your family too...

TBC

Thurday..
i would have always come and fetch u from ur skul at 3.30pm...
but that day u finished at 1pm...
there is nearly 2 hrs u have to wait before i could come and fetch u...
I am sorry for making u wait me for 2 hrs at ur parents' office...
sry... T.T

But i know u din bore urself as u made everything in ur mum office as interesting as possible..
even you could think of making a bunch of keys from paper clip... ==
and the part where u and ur mum talk to the printer...
that was epic funny... =P

u waited patiently for 2hrs and here i come...
rushing over to ur mum office because i missed u a lot...
I really really miss u that day...
fly car come find u... =x
i noe u would scold me if i did...
but i just drove within the speed limit of 80kmph u gave me...
i guai guai rite ??

we had our own sweet time that day when i fetched you as cc wasnt in the car...
we went over to kepong to have tea/dinner as you was complaining how hungry you are... ==
always hungry oso dun wan to eat...
guai lan de dear d3ar... XP

after a scrumptious dinner or so called dinner...
we went back to my house to get stuff for bball later...
then we went to the usual place...
DPC !!

we had a walk around there...
ur first time walking around the whole park i think... ==
lazy bum... XD
we had small fights while we were walking but you said something to me that has a deep meaning...
saying that eventhough we had little arguments then we would seperate when we walk half way...
but in the end...
WE WOULD STILL WALK TOGETHER AS WE FINISHED WALKING AROUND THE PARK... <3

we walked to the place where u wanted to visit most since u first saw it...
yes...
u noe wad it its... the playground...
u were having so much fun as you look at all those children running around the playground...
i noe you wanted to play a lot at the playground also...
but u were too shy... xP
nvm larh my dear...
we would have a chance to play together next time for sure... <3

i had to persuade u a lot b4 u wanted to leave the playground...
but u just had to give me some conditions...
u wanted to ride on my back...
basically u wanted a piggyback ride...

so u jumped up and i started running around like a madman... XD
everyone there that time that saw us must have thought that we were mad...
but it was a lot of fun rite my dearest ??
then we went to play some more with you riding behind my back...
i was a bit exhausted when we played finish...
but it was worth it as i can see ur SMILING FACE...
the face that i always wants to see...
i was really happy that day...
aren't you my dear ??

after that we went bball...
and from here on i dun wan to remind myself of the pain i had to go through that nite...
so... here is where i will end this day... =)

i hope you had a fun day with me...
i really had fun and what made my day was when i saw you smile... <3
thx my dearest... =D

wad is there to a relationship ??
love, care, like and all...
there will be fights and arguments too...
but not as much....

i have notice that both you and i have fought for many times because of one minor problem...
i think you should have notice i just want you to be safe...
and everything i ask you to do is not too over is it ??

well, u have told me just now that u nid time to chg...
then i wont bother you anymore with that topic...
thus, i have decided that i will take a step backwards in this matter...
i wont ask you to do anything that you dun like from this day onwards...
i hope we dont fight anymore...

That one particular day....
I am very very sorry for what i did that day,
i know you are angry at me,
you can scold me or even hit me,
but please dun leave me alone too...

I know i did wrong that day,
i was not right to leave you alone,
i was not right to turn my head and pretend to not notice you,
when that time i was really wanting to see you,
wanting you to talk to me,
but all i did was turn around and walk away,
I am really really sorry, my dear... T.T

when you were crying that time,
i ought to know better than to quickly rush to your side,
not letting you to be alone,
Sorry my love...

for the past few days,
we have been constantly arguing,
even for a small matter we can ignore each other...
i don't like the feeling when you ignore me,
it makes my heart aches,
it makes me feel as if you treat me not as dear as before,
it saddens me...

I AM SORRY for the past few days too,
i should not have been angry for little things...
sorry my dear, will you forgive me ??

I WILL NEVER EVER LEAVE YOU ALONE FROM NOW ONWARDS,
THIS IS MY PLEDGE OF LOVE TO YOU, MY DEAREST SWEETHEART.. <3

P.S. Love comes in many ways, some maybe happy, sad, excited and etc..
but what make the most out of relationships is how we endure to be together,
little arguments, fights, sometimes even major ones,
it all doesn't matter, its how we come through it,
all of this will remain as one part of our memories of being together...

LOVE U, my dearest... <3

i do not understand this feeling...
its seems as time has stopped when you are by my side...
then when i look at the time again, it has passed 3 or 4 hrs...

especially the time where i spent almost my whole day with you...
more than 12 hrs pass in just an instance...
and 17th of may was gone...

sometimes i might not say anything when you talk about others...
but i have a slight feeling of jealousy, and usually i wont tell it...

its not that i do not want you to find out about it, its just that...
i couldn't get it out of my mouth......
if i get that feeling too much, u will feel that you have neglected your friends...
and that time the blame will goes to me...

I don't want to be a bf that is too controlling...
I feel jealous and sad sometimes because of you but its all because...
I LOVE YOU !!

p.s. hope that you'll understand my feelings... if you feel that i should express myself more, i will try my best to change for you...

LOVE YOU FOREVER, MY DEAREST HONEY !!! <3 <3 <3

Tmr onwards, after coming back from skul must sleep arh !!!!
I am not kidding here... =@

Dun always come back then watch tv or play comp larh dear...
If like that then will be like today... watch tv during the afternoon, then at night no study then go sleep d...

Like that how can give u present o dear ??

Guai guai lar dear... if not i sad d ler... D=

i wan the other gift la...><
dear dear always ban sai yier..><